Way of life

It’s time to get rid of that cork board. Photo / Unsplash

If you are over 30, congratulations, your Thermomix catalog is on the way.

Let’s face it, as we get older there are new things to adopt around the house and old things that you must leave behind.

Below are 10 of these.

Your shared mattress

Your mattress should be treated like Joan Rivers treated her face: replace it every 10 years.

If you still have the one you owned in your shared house (or worse, your teenage bedroom), let people know that there are dust mites inside older than Sir Ian McKellen.

Avoid the impending chiropractic bill and get a new one immediately, if not sooner.

Inflatable furniture

Made of plastic and full of hot air, inflatable seats are the Katie price of furniture and you need to get rid of them ASAP.

The only thing in your life that should explode is your social media account, so banish this dated nightmare from your home and let your butt experience the joy of sitting on foam.

Soft toys on your bed

Although he’s half-naked, there’s nothing sexy about Winnie the Pooh, and there’s also no rational explanation for having him on your bed past the age of. 18 years old (and that’s generous).

These must also leave.  Photo / Unsplash
These must also go. Photo / Unsplash

If you want a potential suitor to explore your honeypot, you need to ditch the lint and replace it with throw pillows.

Plastic cups, plates or cutlery

The only plastic thing that should touch your lips after 30 is a Maccas straw after a big night out (24 nuggets optional but highly recommended).

At home, it’s time to get past melamine cups and the kind of plastic cutlery that are best left in your picnic basket.

Old trophies

No one needs to know that you won the Miss Senior Grand Champion in Physical Culture award at the age of 10.

No one needed to know at 10, let alone after 30. As such, it’s time to put the trophies away.

Interior designer Chris Carroll on The Things That Must Go Away After You're 30, Photo / Supplied
Interior designer Chris Carroll on The Things That Must Go Away After You’re 30, Photo / Supplied

Imagine that they are one of the many prominent Hollywood actors and let them stay in the closet.

Dream Catcher

If you’ve had dreamcatchers over your bed since you were a kid and are now over 30, you have caught every dream that you are going to catch.

Nope.  Photo / Unsplash
Nope. Photo / Unsplash

At this point, like Beyonce’s song, it’s less of a sweet dream and more of a beautiful nightmare. Instead, think of something above your bed like a mirror. You know, so you can take a long look at yourself.

Paper lampposts

Like the bad hangovers and itchiness out there, the paper floor lamp is a rite of passage when you live in a shared house until your twenties.

Now that you’re an adult, it’s time to buy a lamp that won’t tip over when someone exhales or lets the wind blow through the room.

All that is galactic

Anything remotely related to the solar system or astrology is best left on morning TV with Mystic Meg.

Duvet cover sets with suns, moons and stars on them: not allowed. Glow in the dark tattoo glued to the ceiling: absolutely not. Works representing the planets: only for fifth grade students.

Cork boards

After 30 years, it is best to leave the cork on the boards and in the champagne bottles.

That doesn’t mean you can’t have a board at home, just evolve and install something covered with a fabric like felt.

It's time to get rid of that cork board.  Photo / Unsplash
It’s time to get rid of that cork board. Photo / Unsplash

It’s much better than cork and won’t make your house look like an old-fashioned dormitory.

Shot glasses

Shot glasses and alcohol were on display, as Martha on Celebrity Apprentice begs the question, why are they still here?

Keep bar items on hand by all means, just place them in a cabinet they belong to.

Snooki and The Situation shouldn’t be your style icons.

Chris Carroll is the Melbourne-based designer behind TLC Interiors; an interior design studio and home style blog helping everyday Australians transform their spaces without breaking the bank. www.tlcinteriors.com.au | Instagram